I often tend to write as I feel, it helps me to understand myself a little better and express my feelings in a way, which I don’t always do through having a conversation.
Being a parent is not easy (I don’t think that will come as any surprise to you). I think I can be a bit harsh in my parenting style sometimes and I don’t really like that. I find myself frustrated, I want to tell BB and LP that the reason you need to do this is because of A, B and C. Trust me, I remember some of these lessons and am still learning them, it will be ok, and you will be able to do it, but please just listen to me.
BB is great at saying that at the grand age of 5 he already knows everything. He is a sensitive boy, and I think that’s a great quality to have. He’s kind and caring, but he is intensely stubborn, and trying to teach him something or show him something can be really hard work, unless he has really grasped on to it. This has been the case with learning to ride a bike recently. He has taken a real dislike to it, in part because I think I have been too forceful, or more to the point too shouty. The trouble is, he has never really wanted to do it, even from before we tried. He is not a sporty, me and J aren’t particularly either, and this kind of trying something new and being adventurous is outside his comfort zone. He told me the other day he didn’t like school, when I asked him why, it turns out he doesn’t like PE. He sees the other boys kicking a football and doesn’t think he can do it. He is in reception and as much as I can remember PE was fun then, wasn’t it? We are also in the process of teaching him to swim. He has lessons, which we stopped for a while and have just started up again. He loves the water, but is adamant that he can already swim. I am not a good swimmer, I had some lessons when I was a child, but never enough to properly learn to swim, and I regret that. I have had some adult lessons, and don’t fear the water, but just tend to splash around a lot, and am really not graceful. Truly I don’t want that for him.
Is that what we do though, put our pressures on our children, perhaps he is just not ready to do these things. It’s easy to look at other friends kids who are fish like in the water at age 3, or riding their bike no problem by 4. How come it’s so easy for them.
Then BB will do something that amazes me like decide to go on a climbing wall of his own accord, and do it because he has set his mind to it. I love that, so I know he has the ability which is even more frustrating.
Encouraging our children is really important, being kind and showing them love when they make a mistake is essential. Teaching them that they won’t always get something right first time, that it may even hurt, but that perseverance will get them through is necessary, and that the joy of achieving something is awesome. This echo’s our relationship with God.
It is very easy to say, but actually in reality when your children are driving you nuts, and you have been reasoning with them for an hour and even an ice cream is not helping then it’s really easy to get wound up (well for me anyway).
Fortunately God has grace in abundance for me when I muck up.
Since I originally wrote this we have been out for more bike riding practices with BB, it is finally clicking and he is enjoying it, (well sometimes) Hurrah!